Newark away

Shorn of their talismanic and never-present skipper (because he has been playing for the firsts but still works tirelessly every week to make sure the seconds get the best team, fixtures and provision possible everyweek) Alex “I would do anything for love, but I won’t play for the seconds” Hawkins and lacking a complete front row, second row, back row, half-backs, three quarters and a full back, it was a rag-tag mixture of a dozen seconds and thirds warriors who travelled to Newark more in hope than in expectation. True to their word, Newark kindly handed two players their Casuals debut and so 14 yellow-clad players took to the pitch.

Casuals opened the scoring when quickly taken 22 drop-out by skipper-on-the-day Mark “shut up, Lewis” Collery found its way to Ian “I came in like a wrecking ball” Slater who showed deft hands and superb awareness to set Shaun “Pink Socks” away on the wing to out-pace the cover and score in the corner. With the sun shining straight across the pitch, lineouts were proving tricky for both sides but Casuals’ work in the open was more than making up for this. When the ball found its way to Joe “Joe” Barton in midfield he showed the natural predatory instincts of any good outhalf/second row to break several tackles and score under the posts. Shortly thereafter Casuals seven-man pack was further reduced as Ian “Rage against the dying of the light” Woods, who had been a menace thus far was forced to retire. The remaining forwards dutifully rolled up their sleeves and put in some titanic performances, none more so than Ben “I’m a doctor now” Foss and Phil “judo throw” Aylward. Slater was rewarded for his hard work and support around the pitch when he crashed over for his first of two tries from short range. Lack of numbers was beginning to show however, and Newark stole in for two tries before the break, one from a sniping run at the base of a ruck and one from a push-over scrum.

The visitors resumed where they left off after the break with another try from Slater. Lewis “miracle recovery” Brown was unlucky not to score after using his weight to get him over the line only to lose the ball in contact. Casuals were not to be denied, however, and Barton used all his out-half training to burrow over from close range. The pack in yellow was reduced to five when Brown suffered what at first assessment was judged to be a career threatening injury but which later turned out to be nothing. Regardless, he left the pitch and despite the protestations from the Casuals back line the scrums went uncontested, thus robbing Newark of their most potent weapon. They managed to grab another try but it was to be Casuals who had the final say. After hammering away at the Newark defence all day, Andrew “I always think I’m going to break the line” Dempster finally lived up to his name and despite beginning his dive from ten metres out managed to flop over the line. With the score on 49, all that remained was for Collery to slot over the conversion to notch up the half century. He missed.

All joking aside this game was played in a great spirit and a massive thanks to Newark for proving a fixture, referee, and enough players to get the game started. Hopefully this will also mark the last time that we send teams away with depleted numbers.

Written by Mark "potato" Collery