2nd XV v Mellish

Last week’s win over Keyworth 1st was compared by some to that desperate 2am fat bird you pulled when you’d not had any for a while. Your mates won’t mock you because after so long without any, it’s not the quality of the result that matters, just the fact you got one.

In this sexual analogy, a 62-7 win over Mellish 2s at their place is the hot company secretary over the bosses desk.

Blessed with 7 subs for the first time this season and a perfectly managed (Ahem...) warm up prepared Casuals for the perfect start. The game plan was executed perfectly with the Forwards creating the space the backs capitalising on the chances. A wonderful ‘one two’ between Al and Joe created Joe’s first Try and it all went well from there.

Cas used the wide pitch to their advantage and attacked from all parts of the pitch. Both Mark Collary and Gareth (I might not be fast but I can sure step well) Austin both making good ground.

In times of old, armies bought out their dim witted muscular giant to smash through enemy lines, for Casuals 2nd XV, we had Joe Barton storming around the pitch causing havoc wherever he attacked. Seb Donk was the stand out player in the backs.

Ed made a wonderful 50 yard jinking run close the end of the first half, however, it was the first and only time he touched the ball in the first half. As coach I decided to take an understanding approach and threatened to sub him if he didn’t touch the ball within 10 minutes of the 2nd half starting... this seemed to work and he scored a try in 5 minutes of the restart (His 2nd and last touch of the game).

Cas finished the half 7 tries up with only one in return for Mellish.

The backs were finding gaps in the 2nd half and after the entry of Rupert and life partner Oli Maples a number of opportunities emerged, if it wasn’t for a couple of ‘forward passes’ more tries may have been found. Rupz lucky not to get a yellow card, or worse, mocked, by the ref after a petulant throwing away of the ball when he was blown up after being clear to the line. Oli picked up his dummy and we continued.

There were some lengthy stoppages including one for a concussed Mellish player (Johnny on hand to support while the Ambulance arrived) and another for a Mellish player with a dislocated shoulder (Who, to be fair, played on after it was popped back in by Nurse Morris). Respect.

The game belonged to the forwards though. A solid scrum, consistent line out and through superb scrum half Mike ‘David’ Brent, a well executed game plan to build the platform we wanted for the backs, myself and Shaun could hardly have asked for more.

We also now know the Mellish winger is 5 foot 6 inches tall. Ask Gareth why.

The result had a bitter sweet ending as Al Green signed off from a 6 year Casuals career to move to new life in Canada with wife to be Karen.

Tries

Joe Barton x2
Mike Brent x2 (Yes, 2 not 3!)
Seb Donk x3
Adz Errington 1
Ed Greenhalugh 1 (That was also the number of times he touched the ball in each half)
Rupz Bradwell 1

Conv

Dan ‘Home Boy’ Holmes 3
Eg Greenhalugh 1 (Not counting that as a touch)
Johnny ‘Nee Nar’ Morris 2

Man of the Match

Seb Donk
Johnny Morris (For his medical performance)